What do you think about having someone with you to navigate a loved one's death or your own?
I suspect we've suffered a collective moral injury around how we experienced, witnessed, and learned of the deaths of people during Covid. We endured month after month of unremitting headlines about isolation, loneliness and saying goodbye via iPad – with exhausted medical personnel acting as the sole companion to many dying people. Then there were the Zoom funerals and remembrances.
Frankly, I found it horrifying to imagine losing someone this way. Suddenly our radars were pinging with awareness of the act of dying. And the pings reinforced my interest, starting me on this death literacy and education journey.
In the spring of 2022 I began two programs — deep diving into this realm. I earned both an End-Of-Life Doula Professional Certificate from the Larner College of Medicine at University of Vermont and began the Before I Go Method™ Facilitator Training program — focused on helping people put their end of life plans in place. And most importantly, I finalized my will, advanced directives and other end-of-life plans!
As a massage therapist celebrating 10 years in business I felt well-suited to eventually add end-of-life doula work to my resume. I believe in the value and beauty of providing emotional and physical support to the dying and their families, as well as education about the dying process. Death doulas may also include in their offerings preparing people for what's to come (i.e. what dying looks like) and giving guidance about the grieving process.
I love listening to Alua Arthur speak about how she became a death doula. Check out her talk below!
(CLICK) Why thinking about death helps you live a better life
The last two years of self-study on these topics has OPENED my eyes to so many interesting (and challenging) ideas! The funeral industry is a billion dollar industry which will streamline for you the process of handling one of the hardest parts of life: loss. For a pretty penny.
AND, there’s a movement afoot seeking to educate people about all the aspects of death and dying — aspects we have agency to control on our own and for which there’s considerable historical and legal precedent for doing so.
What do you think about having someone with you to navigate a loved one's death or your own?